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60 Funny New Year Resolutions Quotes & Hilarious Sayings

Most people do not stick to the resolutions, here are hilarious concepts for most of them that will create lots of laughs!

A list of funny New Year resolutions quotes about failing to stick around.

Resolutions are what we made during New Year Eve. We all have some goals to be fulfilled every year. Some of them are just for fun while others we make with some seriousness like joining the gym, losing some weight, waking up early, and fixing healthy eating, no sugar challenge, and bla bla….

However, most people do not stick to their resolutions, here are some hilarious concepts for breaking your New Year Resolutions that will create lots of laughs!

Table of Content:

  • Funny New Year Resolution Quotes
  • Hilarious Sayings on New Year’s Resolution
  • Thoughtful New Year Resolutions Quotes
  • Funny New Year’s Eve quotes

These are the perfect Instagram caption and Facebook stories to keep your New Year vibes higher.

Funny New Year Resolutions Quotes

Many people make New Year’s resolutions, but very few stick to them. According to the study, 64% of people stick to their resolutions successfully for a month. But the number dropped to 46% after six months.

One more popular theory about New Year resolutions is, people who make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t make them.

Here are some funny New Year’s resolutions quotes and sayings that will screw the concept of making resolutions.

#1.

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.” — Anonymous

A list of funny New Year resolutions quotes and sayings about failing to stick your resolutions list this year.

#2.

“Many years ago, I resolved to never bother with new years resolutions, and I have stuck with it ever since.” – Dave Beard

#3.

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!” – Joey Adams

Here are some funny New Year's resolution quotes and sayings that will screw the concept of making resolutions funnier.

#4.

“Good parties create a temporary youthfulness.” – Mason Cooley

#5.

“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.” — Anaïs Nin

#6.

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” —Anonymous

Funny quotes about failing your New Year's Resolutions that will screw the concept of making resolutions.

#7.

“Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.” – William Shakespeare

#8.

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”- Oscar Wilde

Hilarious and funny New Year resolutions quotes and sayings for people failed to stick around.

#9.

“My New Year’s resolution is to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” – Hunar Hali

#10.

“Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.” – Unknown

Screw their concept of making New Year resolutions with these funny New Year resolutions quotes and sayings.

#11.

“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue so that I triumph even when I fall!” – Aleister Crowley

#12.

“He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.” – F.M. Knowles

#13.

“The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.” – George William Curtis

#14.

“Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.” —Dave Beard

#15.

“A new year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” – Unknown

Every group has some friends who are very serious about New year's resolutions. Screw them with these hilarious New Year Resolution quotes and sayings.

Looking for some easy-to-achieve New Year Resolutions? Find according to your taste.

Hilarious Sayings On New Year Resolutions

Every group has some friends who are very serious about their New Year’s resolutions and goals. It’s time to screw your friend’s resolution list with these fun New Year quotes and sayings.

For the people believing in – New Year, New Me concept! These are the perfect replies…

Have a Happy New Year!!!

#16.

NO New year & new me! I’ll be the same honest asshole at 12:01 that I was at 11:59

Screw New Year and New Me concept with these hilarious sayings about New Year. Wish your friend a very Happy New Year!

#17.

It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!

#18.

I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never remember them.

Funny quotes about failing your New Year's Resolutions that will screw the concept of making resolutions.

#19.

I don’t want a resolution for New Year. I wanna be an asshole for one more year.

#20.

My New Year Resolution – To hate you more.

Wish your best friend a HAPPY NEW YEAR with these funny New Year quotes and sayings.

#21.

The most fun part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking New Year’s resolutions.

Screw your friend's New Year resolutions lists with these hilarious and funny resolutions quotes and sayings about NEW ME.

#22.

My new year resolution? Buy more shoes, drink more wine, and don’t worry about the gym. I can do this.

Grab some easy and fun New Year resolutions ideas to come in the list of sticking-your-resolutions successfully.

#23.

Though many people make a New Year’s resolution, less than 10% will achieve their resolution.

#24.

May the New Year bring you the courage to break your resolutions early!

Screw their concept of making New Year resolutions with these funny New Year resolutions quotes and sayings.

#25.

My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away.

#26.

I’m still the same person I was last year —now I’m just hungover. — Unknown

Funny new year resolution ideas and quotes that will make you laugh!

#27.

If it takes me more than 2 days to break my resolutions, I’ve made too many.

#28.

I’m so excited for the new year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect.

#29.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

Funny quotes about failing your New Year's Resolutions that will screw the concept of making resolutions.

#30.

Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Only 30 pounds to go.

Famous but funny New Year resolution quotes and sayings about failing to stick to your next year's goals.

#31.

May you become smart enough to realize that resolutions don’t come true and wise enough to know that the difference between a new year and an old year is 1 minute past 12 am.

#32.

Cheers to another year of resolutions we won’t finish.

Screw their concept of making New Year resolutions with these funny New Year resolutions quotes and sayings.

#33.

The only new year resolution most people should make is to make no more resolutions.

These funny New Year resolutions quotes are the perfect Instagram caption and Facebook stories to keep your New Year vibes higher.

Here are some Funny New Year wishes to screw your friends with a great sense of humor. 

Thoughtful New Year Resolutions Quotes

Instead of all these funny New Year resolution quotes, let’s have a look at some of these meaningful messages about achieving goals.

What’s wrong with people about achieving New Year resolutions? It’s making new goals based on the old habits. If we focus on changing our mental attitude, every goal and resolution can be turned into reality.

So, instead of creating the emotional burden of not fulfilling the resolutions let’s connect to motivational and meaningful resolutions quotes and sayings.

#34.

“If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.” – Cyril Cusack

Instead of creating more emotional burden of New Year resolutions, let's connect to these thoughtful resolutions quotes and sayings.

#35.

“After the holidays are over then you may want to look at setting your goals for the coming year rather than just setting a resolution.”- Catherine Pulsifer

#36.

“One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.”- John Burroughs

Meaningful New Year resolution quotes and sayings about achieving your new year goals. Funny New Year resolutions quotes.

#37.

“If fighting a new fight keeps us motivated each year, so be it.” – Adhish Mazumder

#38.

“Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.”- Cavett Robert

Motivational new year resolution quotes and sayings to keep your new year vibes higher!

#39.

“In tragedy, it’s hard to find a good resolution; it’s not black and white: it’s a big fog of gray.” – Paul Dano

#40.

“I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. I think if you want to change something, change it today and don’t wait until the New Year.”- Georgina Bloomberg

Here are some thoughtful quotes about New Year resolutions and goal setting that need your attention.

#41.

“The future depends on what you do today.” – Mahatma Gandhi

#42.

“Instead of trying to change your entire life in January, the simpler strategy is to adopt a 12-month plan where you’re making constant improvements.”- S. J. Scott

Inspirational New Year resolutions quotes and sayings that will bring new hope to your life.

#43.

“It’s not just a New Year’s Resolution but a resolution for a new life, a life filled with God’s goodness any time of the year!”- Roni Adigun

#44.

“Don’t make resolutions without an action plan. The secret to success is right in your hands.”- J. Allen Shaw

We know that sticking to your New Year's resolutions isn't easy. These inspirational New Year resolution quotes will help you keep going.

#45.

“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” —Robin Sharma

#46.

“Work on your strengths, not your weaknesses. How many of your New Year’s resolutions have been about fixing a flaw?” – Jonathan Haidt

Growth and change can be challenging, and sometimes you need these inspirational quotes to keep your New Year’s goals setting higher.

#47.

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on.” – Hal Borland

#48.

“People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.”

These funny New Year resolutions quotes are the perfect Instagram caption and Facebook stories to keep your New Year vibes higher.

Funny New Year’s Eve Quotes

New year’s eve is all about fun parties and celebrations. These hilarious New year eve quotes are worth sharing with your friends and family.

#49.

“First, you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

#50.

A good friend always asks about your new year’s resolutions. A great friend encourages you to make none.

#51.

“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” — William Thomas

Funny New year quotes and sayings to celebrate New Year Eve. Hilarious ways to goodbye last year and welcome next year.

#52.

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” – Bill Vaughan

#53.

“Every New Year’s I have the same question: ‘How did I get home?’” — Melanie White

New year's eve is all about fun parties and celebrations. These hilarious New year quotes and sayings are worth sharing with your friends and family.

#54.

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughan

#55.

“Let us celebrate this New Year’s Eve in honor of the time we successfully wasted this year.” – Unknown

#56.

“Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.” — Barbara Walters

#57.

“I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.” – W. C. Fields

Funny New Year Eve quotes and sayings that are so true to text your friends and family.

#58.

“If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone.” – Robert Fulghum

#59.

“New Year’s Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds.”

Funny New year quotes and sayings to celebrate New Year Eve. Hilarious ways to goodbye last year and welcome next year.

#60.

“New Year is a time to start afresh, to start things all over again, but you realize things are too complicated and you can’t start.”

New year's eve is all about fun parties and celebrations. These hilarious New year quotes and sayings are worth sharing with your friends and family.

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