“Don’t try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes you will be fine.” – Sadhguru
You find the candid proximity between your partner and some other person a bit too uncomfortable?
It’s tearing you apart from inside but you’re afraid to voice your opinion lest your partner calls you narrow-minded.
OR you put your heart into your dream project. And now just before you execute, someone else steals the idea and sells it for a hefty price.
Your mind is brimming with lots of negative emotions and thoughts that leave you broke and lonely.
Every day we deal with so many stressful situations that tears us apart.
But one thing I really wannna ask?
How do you deal with such emotional trauma?
Do you shut yourself up in the room and try to distract by watching Netflix and scrolling down social media pages? Or dig into pizza, burger or alcohol?
Each one of us has specific ways to manage stress. But mostly, those are just means to temporarily avoid the situation.
Is there a way to make sure that we don’t get affect by such emotional stress?
Lets find out!
To rise above emotional stress, we need to get into the root of the matter.
Let us discuss how emotional stress affects our health and what we can do to manage it in day to day life.
What is Emotional Stress?
As explained by psychologists, its tension or mental strain caused by our inability to manage emotions.
The human mind mostly functions on emotions. Whatever we do in all our waking moments is just an emotional response to something or the other.
Its our emotional response to the given situation that make or break our entire life.
For instance, parents bring home gifts for two brothers. One of them cries for not getting the gift as per his expectations and other one is overjoyed with the gift he has got.
Two students fail to get good grades in board examination which eventually takes away their chance to get a seat in their dream colleges. One of them gets into depression. The other takes it up as a challenge and makes the best out of the situation.
Hence, life happens the way it has to. But what will happen after that is in our hands only.
Having said that, how our mind reacts to a situation can even be molded in a positive way, provided we have someone to hear us out and motivate us to have faith in ourselves.
5-Second Rule to Turn Your Mind Positively
How to Manage Emotional Stress
Heart wants what it wants. How to save it from getting hurt?
1. Do It Like A Child
As a child, you seldom have a moment of sadness. You can sit on a broken bench and feel like a king. Every moment is filled with joy and excitement.
But as you grow, you tend to look for a purpose behind everything you do.
Our acts or whatever we do is motivated towards achieving a purpose or a goal. We start expecting a possible outcome for the efforts we are putting in.
And its too natural to expect something good if we are working hard, isn’t it? That is the motivation that provides the impetus for us to work hard.
Well, just think of a child. When a child does something on impulse in his spontaneity, he has no goal to achieve. He always indulges in the act because it gives him joy.
The moment, the factor of joy shifts and the purpose of achieving a goal takes place, brings stress.
So initially it might be difficult to go the other way round but it will take just one experience to recondition the mindset.
This time, let the motivation be the work itself. And let’s not push ourselves to work hard. Rather let’s work to be happy and contended. And you never know, the outcome could be beyond all your expectations.
2. Express Yourself Openly
Being introvert or suppressive is found to be intrinsic to some people. Some people just love their solitude so much that they refrain from interacting with others. But as long as this gives them contentment, it is fine.
However, some even become suppressive about their feelings because they have never been allowed to speak up. Some way or the other they have been bullied or snubbed when they have tried to voice their opinion or feelings.
After a point of time, you start keeping things in your heart while putting up a polished smile on your faces.
You might be overthinking, tightening your throat, digging your nails into the palm and moving your toes to deal with that situation.
This is the time when it becomes dangerous. And the worst part is, no one knows what’s happening?
It is often a dire necessity for such people to open up. But they can’t do it on their own simply because they have developed the habit of covering it up.
Even their family and friends fail to help them at times. And then, it becomes pertinent for them to see therapists.
It is a condition where a therapist needs to make the patient develop a trust factor first.
The patient has to learn to put the faith in himself as well as the therapist before he starts venting out. They assign small tasks to help them get over their inhibitions.
Avoid overthinking with these easy to do ways.
3. Train Your Mind With Yoga and Meditation
“The mind is a very bad master but a very good servant.” – Sadhguru
Over-thinking, being short-tempered, brooding over the past, and, anxiety – all these are the games played by an untamed mind.
The human physiology is by far the most sophisticated technology in the world. It can work for us only if we can master it.
Moreover, with the multitude of information that our minds get exposed to, it requires very strong discipline to control.
The best way to master our mind is to practice yoga and meditation.
4. Gentle Reminders to Know Your Worth
Reminding your own worth or practicing gratitude is really a game-changer for such situations.
This is the best thing you can do to manage your stress healthily.
We know its really hard to be grateful during tough times. But you need to understand the working patterns of your mind. Initially, it will look so unworthy and foolish that your brain will try to quit.
But this is the time when you have to take a pause from negative emotions to shift your mind on positive things.
Just find 3-4 things you feel very grateful at that time.
Study shows people who learn to cope with negative emotions, build great mental strength.
To get detailed knowledge you can read Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’– one of the bestselling books has several illustrations on how our thoughts influence our subconscious mind.
Going by that book, we should consciously invest our time and energy into positive thoughts and emotions.
Our subconscious mind shapes the course of our life. The more you dwell in negativities, the more they occur in your life.
If you say – “My life is full of hardship.” “Everybody misunderstands me.” “I am not lucky.”
Your subconscious mind will read it as – “I want my life to be full of hardship.” “I want everybody to misunderstand me.” And “I don’t want to be lucky.”
Be careful. Practice creating positive thoughts.
But it won’t happen overnight. It requires patience and perseverance for the mind to be trained to always remain in a positive frame. And it is a conscious and continual effort that needs to be carried out ceaselessly.
Affirmations to Release Stress
- My peace is my power.
- As I exhale, stress leaves my body
- I have power to control my thoughts.
- I am more powerful than my mind knows.
- I am just uncomfortable in this situation but soon will be out from this
- I have faith that everything will work out
- I am letting go of everything that doesn’t serve me longer.
- I am in control
- This situation is temporary and passes soon.
- I have power to create change.
5. Try to be Candid About Other’s Opinions
A new incumbent in the office is often observed for his/ her ability to handle criticism.
It is by far the tried and tested yardstick to gauge at a person’s emotional equilibrium. Simply, a person who cannot handle criticism would eventually succumb to the cut-throat competition and office politics very soon.
Indeed, it does not take much for anyone to make an insensitive remark. But the deep dent it makes in the heart may not heal so easily. It is surprising how rude and mindless people can be with their speech.
BK Shivani, Teacher, Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University, explains, “It does not what other people think about me. But I need one person to think nice about me and that is myself. Because only when I think nice about me, I will be able to think nice about other people.”
It takes a little courage to manage stress created by hurtful remarks of other people. More so when that person is close to us.
No matter how much we try, it becomes difficult to forgive such people. Many people go for counseling sessions to deal such situations regularly.
But the real deal is when you make up your mind and get ready to hold the bull by its horn.
You can try these ways to deal –
- Brave the remarks and practice nonchalance.
- Focus on your core strength, hold your head high.
- Be considerate towards people who are so full of negativity.
- Pray for them, be forgiving and feel empowered.
6. Love Yourself
Ideally, it is foolish to compare yourself with others. Every human being is unique.
A rose can’t compete with a sunflower. A fish can’t fly like a bird. And if they attempt to do so, they will also be dealing with emotional stress.
Practice competing with yourself. Raise your bar and create your benchmark. As long as the curve is rising, you are doing well.
Having said that, it is easier said than done. Right from the school to our workplace, we learn to map our success in comparison to other people.
Comparison and competitions are part of life. And to some extent, it also helps to improve our productivity. It makes us more focused and result oriented. But beyond a point, it becomes stressful.
Some people become CEO by the age of 30. And some people get to start their dream career at 45 and even 56 years of age.
Inspirational stories are aplenty to prove that success comes to people at their own time.
Finding happiness and contentment within yourself is a mindset that needs to be developed. And it comes with practice.
So, focus on your core strength as you’ll surely bloom when your time comes.
7. Take Therapy
Prolong ailments coupled with long term medication also make people emotionally fragile.
Every illness and the prescribed drug to treat the health condition have a profound impact on the mind.
And some of the drugs are also found to be affecting the nervous system.
Hence, it is essential to consult a psychologist or a therapist who can help you to reduce your emotional stress and speed up the recovery process.
Few More Ways to Get Out of Emotional Stress
- Talk to your friends.
- Say, “It’s okay to be sad sometimes” and cry out loud.
- Engage in activities that keep your mind fresh.
- Stay away from toxic people.
- Spend time with your pet.
- Talk to a therapist.
- Listen to yogis.
- Practice mindful breathing.
- Go to the gym and sweat.
Every pain gives us opportunities to rise and grow. Right from that painful moment, we come into the world; every new beginning is preceded by pain.
Learn to love the pain, learn to appreciate how every hurdle we encounter brings out a newer and stronger dimension that teaches us to sustain.